šŸ’” ā€œBeing a parent is having a job where youā€™re on call 24/7/365 with an abusive boss who screams at your and canā€™t tell you what he wants. The best part is, youā€™re gonna love it.ā€

Looking back 10 years from now, I think 2023 will probably be the one of the most important years of my adult life.

Iā€™ve never dreamed of or really wanted to have kids at all, at least not up until maybe a couple of years ago. I suddenly saw myself open to the idea and my wife pushed me over the edge, since she was clear that she wanted it. In fact, iā€™ve always dreaded the idea so much that I thought I never would want it.

ā€œTime is a flat circleā€ - Rust Cohle

I feel like life so far has been a 38 years long mental preparation for this moment. This is the true test of patience, resilience. I now see parenthood with completely different eyes. I never understood this crazy idea of sacrificing your own life, putting all other hopes and dreams on hold (at least temporarily) to raise this tiny creature.

I may have read this somewhere or listened in a podcast, not sure when or where, but this idea stuck with me:

ā€œBecoming a parent is living the fullest experience of what it means to be a human beingā€.

Itā€™s like going to Disneyland but not riding the coolest, scariest ride (Iā€™ve never been, honestly, so canā€™t confirm). Itā€™s like playing Mortal Kombat but stopping short of killing the Shao Khan. Or M. Bison on Street Fighter. You get the picture.

Itā€™s one of the hardest things you can do, but it provides meaning and a sense of accomplishment in what could easily feel like a pointless and senseless existence. Not that this was the case for me, but I now definitely feel like having kids is one of the most tried and true ways to live a happy and meaningful life. Definitely not for everyone, though and I wouldnā€™t normally recommend it to people. The motivation has to be intrinsic, otherwise it doesnā€™t work.

I now finally understand it.

Anyways, 2023 hasnā€™t been a year of much reflection for me, for obvious reasons. I tried my best to stick to my systems and habits, but everything is basically thrown out the window when you have a baby waking you up, screaming at the top of their lungs at 2am, 4am, 6am, etc.

Despite all the challenges, itā€™s been an incredibly rewarding and meaningful year.

I still somehow found time to read some books here and there between feedings and diaper changes.

Favorite reads in 2023 šŸ“š

Favorite quotes āœļø

ā€œIn order to be right, you must be willing to change your mindā€ - Shane Parrish

ā€œPeople of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morningā€œ - Henry Ford

Work šŸš§

ā€œThe first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.ā€ - Bill Gates

In 2023 Iā€™ve changed my view on remote work a bit. While Iā€™ve always advocated for it, I now see clearly that the quote above makes perfect sense. A team or company with a malfunctioning process will only magnify the problem in a remote environment.

Some of my friends are having to deal with companies who are enforcing a ā€œreturn to workā€ policy 2-4 times per week and I know for sure I wouldnā€™t like to be in a situation where Iā€™m forced to go to the office N times a week in order to keep my job. On the other hand, Iā€™d like to have the option (but not the obligation) to go to the office when I feel the need to and if itā€™s convenient for me to do so. Some problems are just much much easier to be solved in person and you just donā€™t get the same team vibe, culture, trust and camraderie in a remote setting.

It takes a lot of rigor and discipline for a remote team to function well, otherwise it just exposes the cracks in the system.

In 2023 Iā€™ve returned to having a full time employment with an early stage startup, Alza, a neobank whose mission resonated with me, empowering the latino population in the US to have access to banking and save for the future.

Iā€™ll write more on the subject in a future post but, for the time being Iā€™ll just say that I enjoyed learning Go. I still wouldnā€™t trade Kotlin for it, though šŸ™‚Ā Goā€™s error handling verbosity gets on my nerves.

I havenā€™t spent much time at all working on Huskly this year, since there were no hours left on my days (or energy, really), but I expect that to change in 2024.

All in all, it was a year of personal growth for me, learning to be a father, to be more patient and to use my time more effectively and efficiently.

Personal life

In 2023 we spent a lot of time in Brazil, which was nice since we escaped some of the Seattle winter, saw friends and family and allowed Elena to have exposure to a different culture and language. We want her to be fluent both in English and Portuguese, so we gotta start early.

Flying with a baby turned out to be a real struggle, though, as Iā€™ve documented here. We still have the return trip to go through.

This year Iā€™ve also faced more family health struggles, which are still ongoing. My momā€™s health has been deteriorating fast and thatā€™s drained a big chunk of my attention and energy on a daily basis.

All in all, Iā€™m grateful for all I have, my wife and daugher, friends, family. In 2024 I want to free up more of my time so I can spend more quality time with them.